Why small talk is good for you | The Gray Area

Vox

Vox

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May 25, 2026

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Sean talks with University of Chicago psychologist Nicholas Epley about the strange gap between our need to be social and how social we choose to be. They explore why we underestimate how good conversations will feel, why awkwardness looms so large in our minds, and how small acts of connection can make us happier, less lonely, and more open to the people around us. Subscribe to our channel! http://goo.gl/0bsAjO Host: Sean Illing (@seanilling) Guest: Nicholas Epley 00:00 Intro 00:59 The Paradox of Connection: Why We Avoid Being Social 11:03 The Fear of Awkwardness 19:31 Why We Get Cold Feet: The Approach-Avoidance Conflict 27:51 The Surprising Kindness of Honesty 38:21 Why We Should Skip Small Talk and Go Deep 46:17 Simple Social Experiment for connection We would love to hear from you. To tell us what you thought of this episode, email us at thegrayarea@vox.com or leave us a voicemail at 1-800-214-5749. Your comments and questions help us make a better show. And you can watch new episodes of The Gray Area on YouTube. New episodes drop every Monday and Friday. Listen to The Gray Area ad-free by becoming a Vox Member: vox.com/members. Vox.com is a news website that helps you cut through the noise and understand what's really driving the events in the headlines. Check out http://www.vox.com. Watch our full video catalog: http://goo.gl/IZONyE Follow Vox on Facebook: http://goo.gl/U2g06o Or Twitter: http://goo.gl/XFrZ5H

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