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SNL Cold Open Skewers Kash Patel, Whiskey Pete Hegseth
May 4, 2026
Posted 4 hours ago by
Colin Jost's Pete Hegseth took the podium to brag about the sick TikToks released by the White House in hopes of raising public excitement about what NBC polls suggest is a largely unpopular war. This war has been a movie, Jost's Hegseth boasted. Specifically, The NeverEnding Story. Reporters went on to question him about quoting the fake Bible verse about vengeance from Pulp Fiction, which the real Hegseth did at an April 15 Pentagon prayer service.
I do believe that someday it will be in Bible 2: Electric Bible-aloo, he insisted. Now, look, I'd love to stay here and keep dunking on your weak asses, but someone else wants to come say hello before he's almost certainly fired: Director of the FBI, Mr. Kash Patel, Hegseth announced, as the SNL audience cheered at Aziz Ansari's surprise walk-on. Last night's SNL cold open...man, they have Kash Patel nailed. — SFDB (@sfdb.bsky.social) 2026-05-03T13:25:35.651Zread more
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