China's gaudy, graceless Maextro S800 is no Rolls-Royce

The Maextro S800 wants very badly to be a Rolls-Royce.At 18 feet long, painted two-tone, lined with soft leather, backed by Huawei and built by a thousand robots in Hefei, it has the size and the price tag of ambition. What it lacks is the one thing Rolls-Royce has spent a century perfecting: restraint.A car that can park itself is a clever feat of engineering; most Rolls-Royce owners employ a driver for that.The Maextro comes with a 40-inch screen, roughly 40 speakers, and a party trick that lets it park itself while you film it for social media. Rolls-Royce sells the absence of gimmicks. The Maextro sells gimmicks as a feature.Treat what follows as a cultural diagnosis. The car is just a symptom of a nation rich in cash and short on class.Motor trendI lived and worked in China for two years. The Maextro is the most expensive version of the kind of tacky automotive excess I saw every day on the streets of Shanghai and Chengdu. A pearl-white BMW 7 Series gliding through traffic with a Pikachu decal the size of a dinner plate slapped on the rear door. A matte-black Porsche Cayenne with Hello Kitty stickers ringing the wheel wells. A Mercedes S-Class in a finish that violates several local optometry standards, with the owner's WeChat QR code printed on the trunk in case you wanted to add him.People who make these choices have plenty of money. They want you to know it, immediately, from a great distance, with no possibility of misinterpretation.The Maextro is that instinct scaled up and given a research and development budget.Spirit of ExcessRolls-Royce understands something the Maextro does not, which is that genuine luxury operates on the principle of subtraction. The iconic Rolls-Royce Spirit of Ecstasy hood ornament is small. The grille is dignified. Everything about the car suggests that the owner has nothing left to prove, because the proving was done by his grandfather, his great-grandfather, or some ancestor who did something morally questionable in the 1700s and was richly rewarded. Old money and new money operate on very different frequenciesChina, in fairness, has had perhaps 30 years to figure out what to do with serious wealth. Desperate poverty was the default for many Chinese until relatively recently. The first generation of Chinese billionaires grew up eating cabbage in winter and now own art collections that would make a Medici blush. There is no inherited playbook for this. There is no grandfather who can pull you aside and gently suggest that the diamond-encrusted Vertu phone might be a touch much. The cultural muscle memory for restrained wealth hasn’t had time to develop, because the wealth itself is still wet behind the ears.RELATED: Who makes the Waymos flooding American streets? China. David Paul Morris/Bloomberg/Getty ImagesFrom Ming to blingSo you get the Maextro: a luxury vehicle that confuses features with refinement, that mistakes the bill of materials for taste. Forty speakers is a number a teenager picks. A 40-inch screen is what you install when you have never considered that a car's interior might benefit from looking less like a control room. A car that can park itself is a clever feat of engineering; most Rolls-Royce owners employ a driver for that. The Maextro is engineered to impress someone standing on the sidewalk. The Rolls-Royce is engineered to impress the person sitting inside it. These are different products serving different psychologies, and only one of them is luxury.There is something comical about watching a nation with 5,000 years of refined aesthetic standards produce a flagship sedan that resembles a karaoke lounge on wheels. This is country that gave the world Song dynasty celadon and Ming furniture so understated it still looks modern.The classical Chinese ideal was the scholar in the bamboo grove, the brushstroke that suggests rather than declares. Somewhere between the Cultural Revolution and the iPhone, that sensibility was misplaced. What replaced it is a culture where a man worth 200 million still feels the need to wrap his Bentley in something that announces itself from a block away, because somewhere in his lizard brain, he’s still the kid whose grandmother boiled tree bark during the famine.The Maextro will sell. It will sell to people who want a Rolls-Royce and cannot quite stomach the price and to people who want a Rolls-Royce and find the actual Rolls-Royce insufficiently exciting. It will be photographed at the entrances of exclusive nightclubs and parked outside fancy restaurants where the valets know to leave it where everyone can see it. It will do everything its buyers want a car to do.What it won't do is fool anyone who has ridden in the real thing. Taste is built, not bought. China has the money now. The wisdom to spend it well is a generation or two behind.