Arsenal, Man City and Man Utd crowned champions in stunning alternative Premier League tables

Arsenal are in absolute ecstasy and West Ham in utter despair following Sunday's finish to the Premier League season.Mikel Arteta's men spectacularly shattered their agonising 22-year title drought, hoisting the trophy aloft with a stunning 85 points after beating Crystal Palace at Selhurst Park.Meanwhile, Pep Guardiola’s glittering Manchester City era ended with a final-day defeat to Aston Villa, while Tottenham Hotspur narrowly escaped a catastrophic relegation by the skin of their teeth.There was, certainly, no shortage of talking points. TRENDING Stories Videos Your Say But what if the Premier League table wasn't decided by points?What if, just if, we changed the metrics and examined things such as goals without VAR, open play efforts and countless more.GB News now takes a look at how those Premier League tables would look instead.1) The goal difference tableIf titles were decided purely by clinical dominance rather than grinding out narrow results, the final shakeup would have triggered absolute stress.Under this metric, the title race goes right down to a knife-edge.Arsenal still reign supreme on a magnificent +44, but Guardiola's City finish just a whisper behind on +42.Further down, Manchester United lock up third place comfortably with a robust +19.However, the absolute horror show belongs to the bottom three: Burnley (-37) and a utterly miserable Wolves (-41) prove they were completely out of their depth.2) Goals scoredForget pragmatic defensive blocks, who are the undisputed entertainers of English football?If we rank the league strictly by who rattled the back of the net the most, City triumphantly reclaim their crown.Fuelled by attacking verve, City banged in a league-high 77 goals, leaving champions Arsenal second best on 71.Manchester United's dynamic frontline clinched third with 69 goals, while Liverpool grabbed fourth with 63.Wolves anchor the bottom of this thrilling table, managing a poor tally of just 27 goals across 38 agonising matches.LATEST SPORTS NEWS:Bruno Fernandes accuses Roy Keane of spreading 'lies' as Man Utd row eruptsDeclan Rice left devastated during Arsenal Premier League title celebrationsEmma Raducanu makes emotional admission in press conference after teary French Open exit3) Least goals concededThey say attacks win matches, but defensive walls win championships.Arteta’s imperious backline proved this old adage to perfection, conceding a remarkably stingy 27 goals all season.City followed behind with 35, but the real shockwaves were sent by Brighton (46) and Regis Le Bris’s astounding Sunderland side.The newly promoted Black Cats conceded a mere 48 goals, a defensive masterclass that propelled them to an unbelievable European finish.At the opposite end, Burnley’s porous defense leaked a horrendous 75 goals, cementing their fate as the league's ultimate whipping boys.4) No VAR tableA definitive study of a world without Stockley Park interventions completely rewrites European qualification.If VAR never existed this season, Arsenal still lift the crown, but their seven-point cushion vanishes, instead pipping City to the title solely on goal difference!Meanwhile, look away now, Liverpool and Chelsea fans. Chelsea drop like a stone into the bottom half of the table, while Bournemouth sensationally leapfrog Arne Slot's Liverpool by two points to claim fifth.Shockingly, fairytale finishers Sunderland collapse from 7th all the way down to a modest 13th place without video assistance.5) Since the start of 2026What if the football calendar only mattered from New Year's Day onwards?This sensational table exposes a seismic shift in power.Since Michael Carrick took the reins at Old Trafford at the dawn of 2026, no team in the entire land amassed more points than Manchester United's blistering 41.Driven by a revitalised squad and Bruno Fernandes setting a historic record of 21 assists, United were the undisputed kings of 2026.Conversely, Tottenham Hotspur endured a catastrophic winter collapse, only saving their top-flight skins on the final day after tracking like a relegation side for months.6) Only goals from open playWhat happens when you entirely banish penalties, free-kicks and set-pieces.This unique ranking fundamentally dismantles the top of the division.In this reality, Arsenal would be punished due to Arteta’s tactical blueprint relying heavily on dead-ball mastery, with the Gunners setting a staggering all-time Premier League record by scoring 18 goals from corners alone.Strip those away alongside penalties, and Arsenal dramatically surrender the crown.Instead, Guardiola’s City comfortably reclaim their throne as the undisputed kings of open-play fluid football, proving their unfiltered, dynamic passing sequences remain entirely unmatched when the referee’s whistle isn't involved.7) Least yellow and red cardsThis table tracks the ultimate angels and the most reckless hotheads across the land, ranking teams by who picked up the fewest bookings and dismissals.It turns out Arteta’s tactical perfection extends to flawless behavior; Arsenal finished as the league's undisputed model professionals, logging a remarkably low 51 yellow cards and zero red cards.Meanwhile, Tottenham and Chelsea abandoned all composure.Chelsea players saw red an astronomical eight times, but Spurs take the crown for the absolute worst discipline, racking up an unbelievable, league-high 101 yellow cards. 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